Red Light, Green Light

So over the years I have been called all sorts of things. "Mr. E." and "Uncle Stinky" are among my more lovingly collected labels. Every now and then I run across someone that calls me a conspiracy theorist. Like the time that I insisted that North Dakota didn't really exist. Basically because I've never seen any real tangible proof that the state exists. For example I have never met anyone that lives in the state nor have I known someone that knows anyone from there. In all my life I have only seen one license plate from there not long after talking with someone about my theory. I think its a cover up by the government to make the country look bigger than it is. Alright so its my dumbest theory and I guess it would be a conspiracy-like.

Now one theory that I have always stuck with is that our government doesn't really do anything unless someone can make money off of it. Thats why our public schools are in a state of total disarray and textbooks cost ridiculous sums of money. It is also why you see most law enforcement handing out speeding tickets at "speed traps" just to match their quota. And one of the reasons why it costs 10 times as much to get a divorce as it does to get married. Now if that isn't enough hard proof then take a look at this article by the National Motorist Association.

So here is the idea. You have a camera attached to the lights at an intersection. When someone runs a red light you take a picture of their license plate. You then send them a lovely ticket in the mail. That way people actually pay attention to the light. Sounds like a good idea especially here in Salt Lake City since all the good Christians like to blow through stop lights. However, since governments are inherently corrupt, greedy and evil. They ignore public safety lower the yellow light time to say three seconds so that they can send out more tickets. So far the National Motorists Association has found six cities that where caught lowering the light time. There are bound to many more cities doing the same thing. So keep that in mind next time you run a into a quick yellow light.

Update: After talking with my favorite extremely talented server from the Piper Down I discovered that she is from North Dakota. So the bases for my whole existence (the belief that the state of North Dakota is a mythical place) is completely blown. So if you have any suggestions for a better conspiracy let me know!